After a particularly enjoyable Friday night of drinks and appetizers with co-workers, I was scared to get on the scale yesterday.

However, even after a couple of mojitos and fried something or others ( I know, y'all), I still managed to lose .6 lbs. This, of course, is not how I usually eat, but I use these little setbacks as opportunities to learn how to make wiser decisions the next time around.

Week Two Weight: 212.0

Like many others, at the beginning of this year I made some resolutions. The most important of these (and it seems, most daunting) was to take total control of my health. I started the year strong, and I lost 40 pounds by the time I went to my best friend's wedding in May. I was feeling great. Then...nothing. I came back from Florida and just stopped doing everything. I stopped exercising and I ate whatever I wanted. I got on the scale yesterday and I've gained back 10 pounds. I'm not too enthused about this, natch. However, after some consideration I know why I backslid. 

I feel like my fat defines me. 

I've always been heavy, so it's hard to imagine myself any other way. This extra weight shields me. Fat is my most natural state. Hell, I've always been at least a little heavy. Even when I was in really good shape in high school, I was never what you would call "thin." And then there's my worry that it's an affront to my feminist beliefs to want to look better. And that's really the rub. Even though I know better, I feel that I should rid myself of the desire to lose any weight. That's why I really dig the whole fat acceptance movement. Their premise is that there's nothing wrong with being zaftig as long as your healthy. (At least, I think so. Correct me if I'm wrong)

 

But I'm NOT healthy. I have high blood pressure and a family history of diabetes and heart disease. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy AND look good. I miss being in good shape and pushing myself physically. It's not vain or anti-feminist. .

So all that being said, I'm going to start chronicaling my weight loss on this blog. I know I'm not the only one who My inspiration to do this in a public space is Jasmyne Cannick. She's awesome in so many many ways. Go read her blog at jasmynecannick.com.

This is me now after 30 pounds lost:

I'm going to try to do a picture update once a month and give at least a weekly progress report after I weigh in at Weight Watchers.

Next Up: Facing the Scale

All really good submissions. Be sure to check out "A Girl Like Me" (labeled number two) by Kiri Davis.